Negativity is one of those things that if you don’t stop early it will consume your life. It can come from any perspective of your life. Your marriage, friendships, work, and especially past or current life experiences. Mainly, I believe that it will come from your past life struggles and your work. When your negativity controls you, it runs everything in your life. The way you talk, your facial expressions, your tone of voice. It will happen without you knowing it. Why? Because you have made it ingrained in your life that you are completely and utterly blind to it.
Let’s have a conversation on those last two.
WORK: How it can cause you to turn negative
So I started working in a call center when I was about 20 years old. I am now 35. When People I work with ask me how long I’ve been doing my type of work and I tell them that. They always say ” How in the heck have you done this for so long.” Well, to be honest, it is my skill set. It’s what I’ve done for so long, It’s hard for me to get into another line of work. With my experience, I get higher pay than going to something I don’t know and starting back down at the bottom. I mean I like talking to people, I like helping people. But dealing with the general public on a daily basis and hearing them curse you out, yell at you, put you down. Well, it really kinda kills your happiness, your faith in people. It’s like I go to work, deal with that and then come home. So if I’ve had a crappy day at work, then it exhausts into my personal life. Which is wrong, yet it still happens. When this happens we need to seriously make an active decision to not bring it home and more importantly to not let it bother you personally. It may not be customers, it could be your boss or a co-worker. Regardless of the situation, the outcome needs to be the same. We need to fix ourselves. How do you do that? More on that later one.
PAST OR CURRENT LIFE ISSUES:
Life issues are the main reason people do the things they do. See with me, it’s things from my childhood and adult life that give me issues. I would like to think I had a normal childhood, but the thing with me is that I don’t remember much. What I mainly remember was all the camping I did with my family. See that was some of the best memories I had with my childhood. I loved camping with my family. All my uncles and aunts, cousins and friends. Boats and Jetski’s, great food and lots of fun. I remember certain friends and fun summers. When it came to inside the house, there are a lot of things I don’t remember. Most of my memories are all from outside. But the few things I remember is the arguing my parents would do. Seeing my mother cry. Seeing my Father come home drunk from going out all night. Hearing about my father cheating on my mother and even going out in the middle of the night looking for him with my mother and other family members. I remember a few specific incidents. It was Christmas Eve, I must have been about 10 years old, so that was probably 1991. My mother made the family dinner. Portuguese soup, Sopa de Couve (Kale soup) if I remember right. Plus some other food. My father was late coming home. He was at this Portuguese Soccer club in Newark, ca. Where he would take me during the day so he could drink beer, smoke, play dominoes and talk to the other guys. I thought it was fun. I would make coffee, serve drinks, play pool and foosball. It was probably about 8 pm when he got home. Tempers were up and he was drunk. He sat down and looked into the soup and said it tasted like shit. Afte an argument ensued between my uncle and my father, He pushed my mother and I called the cops. Him being drunk and getting cocky with the cops, they took him in. He was abusive towards her and others. So I can probably say that it’s safe to assume that I don’t remember much because of things like that. But the things I do remember inside the home was not good.
So if things like that have happened to you and you don’t do things to fix the way you think, if you let the negativity control you from things like your past and work, then you will not know happiness. You will dwell on the what ifs, the Negative aspects of everything. We have to repeatedly keep talking positively to our self. We need to Focus on the positive. Yes, for someone who doesn’t do that, we ask how do we do that? It literally requires for us to change our whole thought process of who we are. You have to want to change it because having people nag at you for being negative isn’t going to do it. We need to literally rewire our brain. It’s cliche, think happy thoughts, start being grateful for things in your life on a daily basis, start looking at the positive. Our brain is more likely to remember a negative issue than a positive. Hence my example above.
As my wife says Pollyanna that crap! If you don’t know what pollyanna is. Look it up. It’s a movie from the 1960s that Disney released about a whole town that is negative and one little positive girl.