I have this neverending battle going on inside me. It is literally every day. I Fight with the devil, some days I win, most days he wins. He finds your weakness and he uses it against you. If you are weak, he will run you over and take that happiness away. He prey’s on the weak. I’m not talking about physical weakness, I’m talking about spiritually weak. It’s like a drug dealer preying on the customer’s he has hooked to his product. He keeps going back to them.
See, he found this weakness in me. That, If I don’t get control of, I will end up losing what is important to me. I constantly tell myself that it isn’t actually going on. But, in my ear, a whisper, taunt, put down, I hear these things and I rebuke them. I’m Losing! I need to win! My life depends on it.
But how do you win? These last six days I’ve been reading daily Devotionals and verses from the bible. Maybe that is why it has gotten so worse lately. I’m getting closer to God, trying to work on myself and win this battle for my marriage and my life. I’ve been going through my last round of battle for my cancer. I’m currently in my last hour of radiation treatment. Ironic, that this last hour. I have an argument over my issue with my wife. I failed! He knew it and I took it hook line and sinker. He had me on that hook like a fish bound for the dinner plate. See He goes by many names. Satan, Lucifer, Devil, Michael, The fallen one.
He was accounted in the bible as beautiful. He was smart. He was perfect. (ref Ezekiel 28:12,) But that took a toll on him, pride and violence became of him. For that Sin, he was cast down from heaven to earth. Where I’m sure he vowed to try and take ever person that swore their life to God. He wanted, to be like God. He was Jealous. So now, he roams the earth, putting his eye on God’s most loved creation. To wreck havoc on their lives. To take you away from happiness and joy. To rob you of these things. He is like a thief in the night, you don’t see him. Yet, he is there. Trying every window and door to get in. Until he finds the one that is open and takes what he wants.
See I have no reason to have this fear and doubt in me. It’s been there for too long and it is causing issues. It need’s to stop. I just keep praying that God will deliver it from me. Unless I’m on my own with this one and I have to win this one by myself!
I guess only time will tell. But, that time is short and running out.