So The other day I was going through Pinterest and I saw a picture with the tag of ” A Terrible Husband.” Now, it wasn’t about being a “Terrible Husband,” it was about being a good husband.
So it made me think, Am I a “terrible husband?” Do I do enough, Do I say enough, Do I do the little things that make her happy. I’ve been married once before. So I’m on number two, but that makes it sound impersonal when people say that. If people said instead “I’m with my soul mate” or ” I Found the one” then that shows you aren’t just thinking of it as a number. The first wife I had was not a follower of Jesus, even though her mother believed, even her grandmother was a follower. She fell astray when I met her I was astray myself. So that led to some issues when I wanted to go back to church and she didn’t. We did lots of things we shouldn’t have done. Lots of partying and what comes with that lifestyle. We ended up having three children together and 13 years later, we divorced after meeting at the ages of 17 & 19. Some people would let that define them, but I used it to better myself, at least, I would like to think it did. I met my current wife a year later, We fell in love, it was perfect. She has one daughter, at that time she was 15. We met in October and by December I knew I wanted to marry her. So two days before Christmas I proposed, we married Feb the next year.
Now you would think that things would be fantastic, But it wasn’t. Trying to blend two families, raised two totally different ways, OH MAN WHAT A CHALLENGE! We found out we were having a baby shortly after we moved in together. So now throw in a child we both created into the mix. It’s like a circus and we are trying to walk the high wire for the first time while trying to juggle bottles of milk. It was and is difficult still. We learn as we go.
So I vowed to not do the same things from my first marriage, in my Final one. Like yelling, being mean, being sarcastic at the wrong time. But the term “old habits die hard” sure was applicable. Before I knew it or maybe I didn’t know it at the time, I was doing the same things again. Now I have a VERY PATIENT wife. I think this is why I knew she was given to me, why I was led to her. She is an amazing person. Yes, we both have our issues, we have some of the same tendencies when we have a disagreement. Now when two people have the same attitude then It can cause some serious problems. What needs to happen is that you ” the man” has to take a step back. Woman are emotional beings, That’s how God created them. Men, Well Men can be egotistical, obnoxious and act instantly. We deal in the moment, We deal with reality without thinking sometimes. Well, that’s how God made us. But he also made us strong, he made us be leaders of the family. Sometimes men get that confused with the mentality “I’m the man of the house “But what you forget is that Every good King has a Great Queen to Balance him out.”
So Men need to realize that you need to Say those kind words, not just I love you. Send her a text in a morning or at night, just because. Send her some flowers or buy her some flowers JUST BECAUSE. Do some dishes, help around the house. Yes, I know, you do the yard work But it doesn’t hurt to help her once in a while. Pray for your wife and be there for her emotionally.
Here is a GREAT BOOK that I am in the process of reading.
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
This book I’ve read. The resolution for men.
If you sit on the couch all day, watch tv all day, play video games most the day. If you sit here and wonder why your marriage is failing and you can’t figure it out. The probable cause is probably you. Show her some love, faith, compassion. Tell her she looks great when she is in her PJ’s with her hair all frizzy and no makeup. Give her a kiss first thing in the morning when you know she hasn’t brushed her teeth yet.
Speaking of this, My wife just walked in and I have to work in 2 hours. So I’m gonna go spend some time with her.
Good luck Men!
P.S READ THOSE BOOKS!